I am like my mother, and my mother is part of my root that brought the flowers of my life now. My mother had 10 children in Vietnam, and she was quite honest about the fact that she missed two of her children that died at the age of 2. She often mentioned how I look like my deceased sister. I was able to reframe the past and have a better understanding of her during that period of her life—from birth to grave. She was always clinging to me to dear death as if something bad would happen if she let me go.
Understand, that your body and mind recall memories of your past like a time machine, and what you think are facts are a more fictional story with mixed emotions. When your mind and body get into that theta brain wave or deep hypnosis, one can see the window of your life with a clearer view of what it is.
My anxieties and fears are a conditioned response to my root. It is a habit that can be changed with the right view by asking what is your goal in this interaction? Taking deep breaths to slow down your mind, so it will be more logical for you, is something you can do.
My mother’s grief was hers and her alone. Her cup was too empty when I was born into this world, where she was just tired and got used to living her life in survival mode. Letting go of the guilt that I could fix or heal her was a great relief. Letting go of the false sense of responsibility allows you to set into appreciating the roots, which comes to Springs where flowers grow with all the beautiful colors and warm feelings of you always feeling good enough.
One must go through the stages of self-acceptance to change. The universe is always changing, and we must adapt to change.
Shock & Denial Stage: This is where you tend to deny the reality of the situation so that you can avoid the pain or intense overwhelming feelings. You may feel shocked like this is not happening to you. This paralyzing feeling provides a temporary emotional barrier of protection that allows you to avoid and escape the reality of the situation. This is where we go for our Achilles heel for the comfort of something or someone we lost, this is where we either tend to emotionally overeat or drink or smoke too much. It is otherwise, knowing the escapism of your bad habits.
Anger & Bargaining Stage: As the shock and numbness wear off, sometimes it is replaced with feelings of anger and blame. You may lash out and blame someone or something for your problems. Life is chaotic and scary. Your decision is impulsive and irrational. Bargaining is where you bottled up all the feelings and ask why me. This is where you think, are overanalyzed, or judge in keeping the problem. You are at war with yourself, your family, and your loved ones.
Sadness, Guilt, & Pain Stage: After the anger and blaming, there is sadness, guilt, and pain. You may feel a period of sad reflection, focusing only on the unbearable pain or guilt of your failures. It is another version of why me, or becoming a victim of the problem. Sadness overtakes you, and it leads you to loneliness or isolation from friends and family.
Acceptance & Hope Stage: You are seeking more realistic solutions to your problems. You are facing your problems or demons with determination and kindness of what is and finding another path toward the solutions. You understand and anticipate the good times to come and work toward a solution that will solve the temporary bad moments. You are in control of your stress by a decision to achieve your goals to feel good. You accept that you are driven and ambitious. You are okay with just being you.
References: 1. Scott McFall www.hypnosisconnection.com