Life has always been about a journey and not a race. It’s a path filled with highs and lows, triumphs and challenges. Each step on this journey contributes to the tapestry of your experiences. Your moments of triumph, those peaks where you feel on top of the world, bring immense satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. They validate the hard work and effort you’ve put in. However, there are times when this euphoria can be shadowed by the valleys of setbacks and failures. When you’re riding high, and suddenly you hit a low, it can leave you feeling disheartened, discouraged, and sometimes even trapped in a past that didn’t go as planned. Like the stock market, what comes up will always come down. Succumbing to self-peer pressure, that inner voice that tells you “I cannot do this,” can lead you down a path filled with what feels like disaster and turmoil.
In life, common failures might include not performing well on an exam or project, going through a job interview and not landing the offer, or losing in a competition where you had set your heart on winning. These setbacks, though they may seem small in the grand scheme of things, can significantly impact your mindset and self-esteem.
Often, the pressure of not living up to the expectations of others, such as parents or bosses, can be overwhelming. You might find yourself missing deadlines or staying in a job, relationship, or class far longer than you should, leading to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. This could be due to overcommitting or taking on too much, driven by a desire to please or succeed, which in turn leads to panic and frustration.
It’s crucial to remember that in the grand narrative of your life, there are no true failures, only outcomes. What might appear as mistakes or misfortunes are, in reality, stepping stones towards your goals. They are opportunities to learn, grow, and adapt. By changing your perspective on these setbacks, you can shift your feelings from despair to determination. This mindset shift is critical as it drives your commitment and fuels your motivation and confidence. It’s about embracing self-improvement and personal growth, recognizing that each experience, good or bad, is a valuable part of your journey towards achieving what is truly yours.
Failures are not the end of the road. They are merely detours that can lead you toward new opportunities and personal growth. Here’s an easy guide to help you navigate the path toward resilience and growth:
Unrealistic Expectations & Perfection
The winding road toward success is paved with many bumpy roads and curve balls. If your goals are ambitious, your fears may paralyze you to stop. It is normal for people to feel this overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom. Your brain tends to predict from past experiences to see if you succeed or not. If you haven’t achieved this big goal, your mind will cycle through the feelings of failure self destruction, and shame. Your brain predicts a mood based on past experiences.
Understanding that your brain cycles through a nightmare of not having it is just what your body does to keep you safe or alive. Even though mistakes are simply horrible things to experience, your mind and body are working on a positive intention. The positive intention of always being good enough and a person deserving of success is always a good thing.
The meaning of success is having a dream of having it come true through actions. This requires you to love the process of learning everything that gets you great. You cannot learn how to succeed without making mistakes. You have to love the good, the bad, and the ugly side of learning how to achieve success.
The error of the mishap is your grand opportunity to chase a different path of action. If you are to become an action word or a doer of actions towards your goal, you are bound to make some small or significant mistakes. Change is change. Your outcome is just an outcome. The first step toward being more confident is acknowledging mistakes as part of your journey. Your dreams are a series of actions you do that create a new attitude that matches your strengths and courage.
For you to expect the road to success to always be a yellow brick road of diamonds is just unrealistic. Your attitude that you are going to have your success overnight without much effort is utterly ridiculous.
Expecting things to turn out perfect when you are trying new things and learning new concepts is a mindset set to fail before starting. Embrace the lessons that failures offer you in terms of a challenge to see if you’re willing to do what you need to do to get what you want.
Being The Needless One
Seeking approval from others is a recipe for failure. This constant need for validation, especially from those who may not have your best interests at heart, is a dangerous game that can derail your journey towards personal fulfillment and success. People who overly seek to please often find themselves overcommitting and making excuses for not pursuing their true aspirations. They become entangled in a web of trying to meet others’ expectations, sometimes sacrificing their own happiness and well-being in the process.
This pursuit of external validation often stems from a deep-seated fear of confrontation or rejection. Saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’ not only leads to personal discontent but also creates a dissonance between your actions and true feelings. This misalignment can be mentally exhausting and emotionally draining.
Being excessively needy for approval can also signify a deeper issue of self-worth. When you constantly look for validation in the wrong places, it’s an indication that you might be struggling with how you perceive and value yourself. This can lead to a loss of self-identity and a decrease in the ability to make decisions that are truly beneficial for you. Instead of building on your strengths and capabilities, you may find yourself trapped in a cycle of seeking admiration and approval, which can severely impact your confidence and success.
A danger of needing to be liked by the wrong audience is that it can skew your perspective away from your goals. It can lead to self-doubt, second-guessing, and ultimately, self-sabotage. You start creating unnecessary complications and chaos, leading to a cycle of negative self-talk and actions that don’t align with your true self.
Breaking free from this cycle requires a conscious effort to understand and appreciate your own worth. It involves learning to be comfortable with who you are and making decisions based on what’s best for you, not what others expect of you. Cultivating self-reliance and inner strength is key to overcoming the need for external validation and paving the way for a more authentic and fulfilling life.
“The most confident person in the room is the needless one. The most objective person in the room is the needless one. The most caring in a real way — not a surprise — the needless one.” Scott McFall
Here are some tips to help you remain in a calm place when you’re dealing with some difficulties around you.
- There is such a thing as being 100% needless. We cannot achieve 100% needlessly. Practice temporary obsession and then balance toward integration of your life. Meaning, schedule your day with activities that are congruent with your goals. Plan your reward and peacetime too.
- Method Act or role model someone brings needless.
- Practice the ritual and value alignment of that needless role model.
- Be in the right business boundaries and personal boundaries.
- Learn Hypnosis and NLP to have more confidence and to be needless.
- Chase your outcomes and get into the right resources state of mind to start achieving and building confidence.
- Seek Professional Help When Needed
If you find yourself struggling to cope with past failures or feeling overwhelmed by negative emotions, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A hypnotist can provide you with guidance, support, and effective strategies for managing stress, overcoming emotional barriers, and building resilience. Failures are not a reflection of who you are and your self-worth. It is not a reflection of your inability to succeed because of your negative self-image and thoughts. They are simply stepping stones on your path to growth and self-discovery. You can develop resilience, embrace a growth mindset, and move towards a brighter future filled with possibilities as long as you try. The more you do and take action. This means the more you succeed. Make every day a great one because you are great!