Pretend for a moment that you are looking at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what is holding you back from achieving what you want? Whether it is to lose 30 pounds or stop smoking, how are you rationalizing your behaviors that prevent you from accepting what is wrong and facing the hassle head on and correcting it?

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is probably the most well known in psychology. The basic core physiological needs of food, water, air, and shelter must be met to attend to higher needs or become self-actualized. Maslow defines self-actualization to “desire to become the most that one can be.” He goes on to mention the core needs of safety, love and belonging, respect and self-esteem.

What are you lacking in your basic life needs because this may trigger a survival or stress response that blocks your success toward that outcome you desire.

Understand the Stress Response

Survival mode or the stress response is where your mind and body enter the Fight, flight & fawn zone. It is the surviving or crisis response zone. The fight is getting angry or frustrated at a person, thing, system, or object because of what happened.

Flight or freeze is described as in shock. It is the feeling of disbelief or denying what is happening. It is your body unable to move or act against the danger or threat. Fawn is acting to try to please to avoid the conflict.

When there is any stressful time, like a pandemic or COVID, our bodies will respond like in a fight or flight situation. This affects our mental health and wellbeing.

What if I tell you that your stress, worry, and anxious behaviors or feelings you can manage and control? The map inside your head is not the map or territory to make your life compelling. Are you reacting to what you are trying to get rid of? Are you taking one step ahead and then ten steps back? Here are some easy steps to take to get self-control back and start chasing the freedom of having what you want.

Step 1: Label & Identify What are You Lacking?

  • How is your physical body or your overall health?
  • Are you the right weight for you, for gender and age?
  • Are you getting enough sleep?
  • Are you surviving in life with too much because of too much alcohol, tobacco, and drugs?
  • How is your blood sugar and your hormones?
  • How about your financial security? How is your debt? Are you worried about your future security or your job?
  • Are your emotions going up and down like a roller coaster ride?
  • How is your faith and that feeling of purpose or mission in your life?
  • Are you giving and receiving love and connection with other people?

Step 2: Identify Core Needs: What are You Trying to Prove?

How are you rationalizing your behaviors that get you to feel stuck or plateauing? Here are 5 basic core needs that everyone has and may seek to protect when they are trying to prove and talk their way out of something. You may fit into one or more of these categories. By understanding your core needs, you can adapt and take actions in a better way that motivates you toward change.

Membership Core Needs are that they want to be and belong to a group. You can tell by the way they dress which is very neatly, clean and pressed and look like they are wearing a uniform wherever they go. Membership people are very loyal to a group and comfortable with rules, setting limits. Sometimes, they may have the us vs them or all or nothing attitude. Examples are bikers, tattoo/goth, military etc.

Competency Core Needs have a strong desire to be seen as smart, intelligent, or capably competent. They enjoy learning, reading books and respect their learning by obtaining and collecting degrees or certificates. You can spot them out by their use of big words and how they often reference their learning by telling in essence the bibliography of the topic. They tend to not take action and stay in the planning or learning phase only. They also make simple ideas very complex and hard to get.

Security Core Needs have a strong desire to be safe and secure. The way they dress is rather bland or basic in style. They don’t take risks or take very low risks. They need the pressure off them to perform well. The risks need to be taken down into small parts or small steps. They would rather know what everything is that is going to happen and are willing to lose the opportunity because of the fear of not knowing everything.

Freedom Core Needs care for desire to be and feel free to act. They are okay with mess, disorganization, and pressure. They need pressure or deadlines to be motivated. They are not great with detailed work and usually have a charismatic personality. If things get too routine, things get too boring, and this will sabotage their goals. They don’t like to be tied down or rooted in any way.

Uniqueness (Self-Expression) Core Needs are their desire to be different, unique, and special. You can spot a self-expressive person by the way they dress in trendy clothes that are different from anyone else, which is ultimately an expression of themselves. Their heart is always on their sleeves because every action is an expression of themselves. They tend to be sensitive to criticism and get defensive because life is an expression of them.

Step 3: Take Care of What Your Body Needs

Tip 1: Paint a Picture of what you want. Focus on what you want by writing this down.

Start writing in your journal dreams with the attitude in your mind that you will have this goal and what will change when you have it. How will your life be different 3-6-9 months from now? What will you see when you have it? How will you communicate differently with others? What will you feel when you have it? Recommendation: do this first thing in the morning when you wake up. You are retraining your brain to focus on what you want.

Tip 2: Change your physiology by taking breaks throughout the day.

  • It is also rolling your eyes upward with your eyes closed or open while taking deep breaths.
  • When you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it’s important to take a break. Get up and move around, take a few deep breaths, or step outside and take a walk for some fresh air.
  • Start dancing while you listen to some fun music. Taking breaks will help you to clear your head and come back to your work or studies refreshed and focused.
  • Start exercising or doing any body movement throughout the day. This is as easy as riding a bike, swimming, or walking.

Tip 3: Are you having enough fun and adventure in your life?

Are you connecting with people that are positive and uplifting? Are you surrounded by supportive people? People that tell you the truth? Are you hanging out with people and friends and going to places? Are you having fun and laughing?

Tip 4: Get enough sleep.

When you’re sleep-deprived, it’s harder to control your thoughts and emotions. The fatigue will keep your mind in the survival mode we just talked about. Make sure to get 7-8 hours of sleep each night so that you can be well-rested and focused.

Tip 5: Eat healthy foods.

What you eat has a big impact on your mood and energy levels. Eating healthy foods will help you to feel better both physically and mentally. Eat to feed and nourish your body. Drinking cool and refreshing water is always beneficial for your body.

Tip 6: Take Action & Start Chasing the Benefits

Stewart Emery defines actualized as a “means to make real though action.” Self-actualized individuals are “Those who are continually discovering avenues of actions that provide them with unfolding, real, joyful experience of their own creative humanness.” Stewart Emery is an entrepreneur, executive coach, and leader, and is considered one of the fathers of the Human Potential Movement. Simply, his goals for someone are to move them in a person’s life toward a more joyful and satisfying experience that benefits you, the other person, and the world.

You can self-actualize. You can enrich your life and communicate with others in a more open, joyful, and vulnerable way. You were born always good enough with a potential for greatness. Greatness needs to be made real through actions.

Do you need more help and guidance about mindset? Why not get into a coaching program that helps you learn the necessary skills to get you to the top. Learn hypnosis and NLP from the best in the business at Southeast Hypnosis. When completing your Coaching Program, you will get your hypnosis and NLP certification of completion.

Call 281-996-8000 to schedule your free 30-minute consultation session with us to see if this training system is right for you.

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How Does Hypnosis Help You Lose Weight?

With hypnosis and the programs at Southeast Hypnosis, our clients are often excited with their results. They apply the things we’re talking about in this blog post because it’s what we teach in our programs, and they report how the pounds start falling off because they’re able to rewrite their story about success and failure, their story about feedback, and their patterns related to food and exercise.

For instance, they learn to see setbacks not as permanent failures, but as temporary obstacles providing valuable feedback. This shift in perception, facilitated by our hypnosis programs, empowers them to overcome the challenges rather than surrender to them. They start to embrace their cravings as signals to make healthier choices, instead of perceiving them as insurmountable hurdles.

Our clients also discover the ability to say ‘no’ to unhealthy foods, deriving more pleasure from foods that nourish their bodies. Hypnosis helps them rewrite their narratives around food, reframing it from an emotional comfort to a source of physical nourishment.

Moreover, they change their patterns related to exercise. Where previously gym sessions might have felt like an insurmountable chore, hypnosis helps them to see exercise as an enjoyable activity, an opportunity to take care of their bodies.

Over time, these small changes in thought patterns lead to a significant transformation in their behavior and body weight. But more importantly, our clients report an increase in self-esteem and self-belief, and the rediscovery of their ability to take control of their lives.

Indeed, the most significant success isn’t just the pounds they shed but the empowering beliefs and habits they gain, which remain with them for life. That’s the true power of hypnosis and our programs at Southeast Hypnosis – it’s not just about weight loss, it’s about life transformation.


  1. Steward Emery – “Actualizations: You Don’t Have to Rehearse to Be Yourself”
  2. Scott McFall Bio – My Hypnosis at Home

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